As usual I do things uphill backwards. When I wrote about Parenting Techiniques, I probably should have posted the ground rules or what drives the techniques.
The first thing that I kept telling the WINO is that our job as parents is to raise happy, healthy, disciplined ethical moral, responsible adults. People that go out and take the place in society as productive members.
And everything we do and did has to be directed toward that goal.
It was like talking to a wall.
I believe in chores. Age appropriate. At 5 years old you can unload the silver ware from the dishwasher (I'll take the knives first). At 8 you can unload the dishes as well. At 10 you load the dishwasher, properly.
At 7 you can pick up the dog poop in the backyard like you promised when we got you the dog. At 10 or 11 you can start cutting the grass.
In fact at several points as the kids were growing up we would sit and have a family meeting. The WINO drafted and wrote out "The Chore Lists" that everyone agreed to. Yes, even her. She wrote them, they are in her hand writing. But when I would direct the kids to do their chores, I was "A Slavedriver" or "Why does it have to be done on your schedule?" Because I can't serve dinner I cooked, (my chore), if all the clean dishes are in the dishwasher that the kids need to unload." And then the fight was on.
This is how bad is was. I hated the weekends. Because the would end the same way each time, no matter what I did.
Friday night- Pizza and a beer night. Which was really just pizza night, although she might have a beer. But before she got home I would ask the kids to 1) Get their homework done (always Job#1) and then 2) get their dirty clothes down stairs, so I could do laundry (my chore) and 3) pick their "stuff" around the house and their rooms. My reasoning being that if we got *that* our the way, we could then do fun things the rest of weekend. The kids would want to and would get my wife on their side with "It's been a long week, leave them alone for one night." To which I would say, "Fine, I'm doing laundry now. If you want clean clothes next week , then get it downstairs." That I put my foot down on. I was doing laundry once a week. Not whenever you demanded it. And don't let me catch you doing loads in between. You're not wasting my water, gas and detergent just because you were too lazy to bring it downstairs when I was doing it.
Now, Saturday was generally run the kids to sports and activities, cutting the grass, and possibly getting the the grocery shopping for the week. So it got blown out of the water as far as getting anything fun in.
Sunday morning she would get up early and go to weight watchers. Meanwhile I got up, go the kids moving, and showering while I made a good breakfast (bacon and eggs, or pancakes, or waffles or breakfast burrito's and such), and got everyone fed, dressed and ready for church. She would get back in time to eat and the we'd load up in the car and head to church. And I would offer her "Mom time" meaning that I would take the kids and we go. Usually out to the Aurora Sportsmen's Club, where we would shoot some trap and some .22LR. This gave her the opportunity to do whatever she wished. Scrap-booking, Work-work, take a nap, go shopping, anything she wanted. And we would be back sometime after it got dark (we could shoot out there until legal sunset.)
And when we got back all hell would break loose. See, the house was still a mess, and we're getting ready to head back into the work week and your three went off to have fun while leaving me in this pigsty to clean up all your messes, and on and on. Pointing out that I tried to get them to do their chores on Friday fell on deaf ears and was again told that "Why does it have to done on your schedule?!?!" Because you turn into a tweaked out raving bitch on Sunday afternoon because it isn't done. If you don't like the way I do it, then don't bitch when it doesn't get done.
I hated it. Here I am trying to be a good father and spend time, good quality bonding time ( and both kids sdid have lots of fun shooting. It's one sport where age or physical strength doesn't make the difference, it's skill) while trying to give my wife some time to her self. And all I did was catch hell from her.
So parents. The most important thing is that you have to be together, you have work as team. But that's another rant for another time. That's how important that is.